mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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