Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I will die if light touches me.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
