we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
