So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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