Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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