Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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