well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
