Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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