I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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