Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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