woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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