So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
