i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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