Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
