my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
