Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize