My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
