And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
