Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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