I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
