i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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