I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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