wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
