grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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