I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
