he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
