So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
