I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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