Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm too high and old for this...
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