he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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