fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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