Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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