Whod you bang
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
