Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
being pregnant is like rehab
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
