I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
