Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Randomize
