Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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