Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize