I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
