You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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