he shaved USA in his pubs
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
