it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
