At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
