Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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