its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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