I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize