My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
