Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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