I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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