I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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