We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
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It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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