Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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