4 words: hood of his car
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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