We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
