According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
FUCK WHALES
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize